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16th-Nov-2009 11:26 pm - tough situations, but no tears fall.
At the moment, I have a full rush of emotions. So much that it's pumping through my veins and I can't even think straight to type them down.

But I know one thing's for sure: I need a fucking break.
26th-Oct-2009 12:03 am - Love, love, where for art thou, love?

I'm still hanging on the theory that there's something highly wrong with me. Why doesn't anyone like me? Do my first impressions suck that much? Am I really that unlikable? Am I embarrassing to be around? Even if I look and feel my best, it's completely futile because someone will already have eyes for someone else and there's no point to it anymore. I'm wasting my time. I should give up trying altogether right now. It's useless, it's pointless, and I'm just going to have to admit that I'm never going to know what it feels like to be liked a lot by someone who's willing to let you become their entire world. Sigh, I watch too many dramas or something, lol. I romanticize too much. But it's true. It'd be nice to have someone who cares about me just a littl bit more than the rest. Mr. First Real Boyfriend, please come soon. Maybe I would stop feeling this way then.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

5th-Oct-2009 11:33 pm - I don't understand

I don't understand why I have to be so stupid. It seems like it doesn't matter how hard I work because I never seem to satisfy anyone. Suddenly my satisfactory isn't enough. I never seem to be able to do anything right. I don't want to keep doing this anymore. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of being unable to breathe. I'm tired of all the stress and pressure that seems to just build and grow everyday. What am I doing wrong? Someone please explain to me what I do wrong. I'm sick and I'm tired of all if this. I can't handle this anymore . I want to leave and never come back. I want to finally put everyone's mind at ease. It's not all fun and games. I honestly work hard. I'm tired every single day. It's just sometimes it's so hard. It's hard to even move onto the next day. I'm really sorry I'm not the person you want me to be. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm not smart. I'm not pretty. And I'm not skinny. I'm trying the best I can right now. I'm really sorry.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

20th-Sep-2009 02:19 am - Just one of those days

It's just one of those days when nothing really goes right. Everything suddenly goes bad and I don't know how to fix it. First, I get rejected. Then, my friends ditch me with my sister. And finally, just to top it all off, my parents are fighting again. Nothing is ever easy, is it? I can't win even once? I can't even breathe, just for a second?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

9th-Jul-2009 03:06 am - friends locked
friends locked.

I feel weird posting details of my life to the public, so I've finally gotten around to start friends-locking everything. All the random stuff I post I'll keep public, but the real life stuff, I'm going to friends-lock. Go ahead and add me as a friend if you're really that desperate to find out my sob story. And trust me - I write some depressing stuff. Or if you want to be my friend, leave a comment here and I'll add you. Whatever's cool, lol Taking an interest makes me smile though. :)
2nd-May-2009 11:14 pm - so effed
I'm so effed for AP exams. LOL. I haven't touched my book once this entire year, excluding projects. I'm going to fail, but that's okay. The finals are going to rape me this semester, especially Algebra II and Chemistry.

Oh my God, I feel myself dying slowly inside.

F. M. L.
13th-Sep-2008 09:20 pm - hurricane ike
So, apparently, Dallas was supposed to be hit by Hurricane Ike. And I guess you can say we did. I mean, it's just super, super, super, super windy out and lots and lots and lots of rain. It's nothing compared to the stuff they have down in Houston/Galveston, that area. You know? Meh. I kind of wonder what it's like to live in a hurricane. I wonder how people feel when they're being told that a hurricane is supposed to hit and that they should leave their homes. I wonder how they can just leave everything behind, then later on coming back to see disaster. Sigh. I don't know what I'm saying. I kind of feel like crap. I'm hungry, too. But there's nothing to eat. It's 9:30 on a Saturday night and I'm missing the moon festival at the temple. Oh well. I was so looking forward to the Adam Ho/Quang Le concert today, but it got cancelled because of Ike. Meh. What luck. And this past week hasn't been that great either. I totally just bombed three major grades, but hopefully I did really well on that chem re-take. If not, I seriously will go emo. At the moment, I'm updating my fanfiction in hope of cheering myself up. I hate how the weather does this to me. I'm sick too-- my throat hurts like hell. I'm tired too. And I haven't done my Julius Caesar essay. What the crap is he famous for anyways-- inventing Caesar salad? Ugh, whatever. I'm off. Maybe I'll go watch some Big Bang videos to at least keep me awake, much less make me smile.
10th-Aug-2008 09:05 pm - everybody stand up!

I would've posted an entry on 080808 but I got lazy. Haha. But here's today's news from yours truly -- I HAVE BEEN ON A BIG BANG HIGH ALL WEEKEND. Honestly, I really couldn't stop listening to their new album. I'm so addicted to it, ahaha. And I just saw their comeback! GD looks so badass there! Sheesh. The more I stare at him, the more I am LOVING his hair. lol, I don't care if everyone else hates it. I like it. It's fresh. Like their new album! PWAH. 




For the slow ones that HAVEN'T seen Big Bang's new MV --


Really, it reminds me of "Lies". But also, I think it's better. It has a deeper feeling to it. It also makes me cry, haha. One of their best works!




And of course, the comeback --


G-Dragon's hair REALLY grows on you. He looks amazing. They all do. Daesung is sporting a new hairstyle too, along with Baby! They both look so mature, you would never think they're underage. (; I'm really digging Seungri's flat hair. I loved his spikey hair too, but there's something about his flat hair that makes him so much more...irresistable. In my opinion, Daesung needs a trim on his bang...then it's perfect! TOP has a new hairstyle too, the spikey fohawk kind of look. He's hot, as always. Taeyang looks the same. LOVE his dance solo at the beginning though.

All in all, they have a new look with their new album. AND I AM TOTALLY LOVING IT. Usually, I'd be totally turned off by guys in eyeliner and all that...but I don't know, it's really nice on them. They really pulled off a more mature look. Big Bang, hwaiting! ^_^


 
3rd-Aug-2008 07:37 pm - i'm so sorry but i love you

I just can't lie! Whoooo, Big Bang's English is so cute, yeah? Haha. I need to blow off energy, man. Just got back from SEAWORLD SAN ANTONIO! WHOOOO! *cheers* Now..I have all this energy after sleeping all day in the car. But what to do, what to do? OHTOHKAY?! Omo, my Korean sucks. I doubt I spelled that right, aha. I'm still pissed off at Livejournal. Why is it so hard to put a layout...why can't it be like Xanga? Xanga was much easier. Sigh. Lalala. I should really stop listening to Big Bang songs all day. Lol, I'm going to like, wear a hole in my room from all the dancing, hahaha! I should go back to reading Eclipse! Oh yeah, my sister got Breaking Dawn today. Haha. She's so spoiled, lmao. Nothing to do now. I'm just like...wasting my time. (; I really should do my SAT homework. But I'm lazy. I'd much rather watch some Big Bang videos. Too bad half of the time I can't understand a word they say. I miss Pang. Oh dang, I have the attention span of a squirrel. Is anybody still keeping up with me? She said she sent me a Super Junior poster from Thailand. Man, she's awesome. But I'd rather much have her ship herself here. Haha. I want Big Bang's new album to come out already. FIVE MORE DAYS! FIVE! FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE! Chyes. That's riiight. Five more days. And they have a comeback performance in Inkiyago! Dude, I never spell that right. I hope someone understood though or I'll feel totally stupid, keke. (: I need to get out more, I really do. Ohhhh, Big Bang's gon' raise da' roof, y'all! o__o I scare myself. Lalala. Would blogging be considered as talking to yourself? I consider it. HA. I'm weird. Okay, let's go mess with the layouts again...sigh. What a pain and headache bring-er on-er.



Big Bang 3rd Mini-Album "Stand Up"
1. Intro (Stand Up)
2. Haru Haru
3. Heaven
4. Nice Person
5. Lady
6. Oh My Friend


THAT'S RIGHT BABY. To be released on August 8, 2008. 080808. The first day of the '08 Beijing Olympics. How totally epic is that? You know what's even funnier? G-Dragon was born on the first day of the '88 Olympics on August 18, 1988. In my opinion, just for kicks, they should've had eight songs on their mini-album. Hahaha. 
31st-Jul-2008 06:04 pm - at the beginning
Let's start blogging again. I used to have a Xanga, but obviously that didn't work out too well or I wouldn't be here. Lmao. (: Anyways. I'm supposed to use this to explain my thoughts? But...I'm self conscious. I have a weird mind. This is what happens when you're the youngest of all your friends. Nobody lets you talk so you keep all of your thoughts inside until they become twisted, and when you do get a chance to talk...you say things that nobody can understand. (; At the moment, I'm currently browsing the lovable YGBB and the entertain-able STAND forums. Hahaha. I love STAND, the people on there are great :) (Although, I am still, unfortunately, labeled as the maknae. Sigh. Will the title ever go away?) YGBB is fun...especially the spam threads, kekeke. 

Speaking of Big Bang,
I think this will be the first time that I've ever truly and wholly supported a boyband. When I was obsessed with Fahrenheit, there were some things that I truly didn't like about them. Like, didn't like to the point of...hate almost. Haha. Like...how they're not that talented in singing. (Except for Arron). Really, they're not that great, lmao. I guess the only thing they had going for them was their looks. (; I also actually hated some of their songs. Sigh. I'm a bad fan. But with Big Bang...ah, I don't know. I like all of the members, they're all good looking, and I love ALL of their songs. No joke. I have like, every Big Bang song downloadable, I think. And I can listen to them over and over and never get tired. The beats are really catchy and like, it just makes you want to get up and dance your energy away~ I don't know. It's weird. Sigh. I'm dreading the day I get over my BB addiction. I don't know. It's like...meh. Whenever I get over something, that something is like...a sore subject for me. Maybe because I have some CRAP friends. Yeah. I'll rant about them later. Meh. I'll go figure out how to make my LiveJournal pretty now. (: 

- edit -

I'm pissed off. I've spent like, two hours trying to figure out how to put a layout on here, and I still can't figure it out. Gosh. And I just realized something. I really need to get some new friends. Honestly? My friends suck. Ugh. Don't you just hate it when people just continuously rag on something you like? For instance, coughcough, some people happen to hate my love for Big Bang. WHY THE CRAP SHOULD I CARE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT? I shouldn't, right? But oh my gosh. My friends are the absolute worst. They continue to tell me how much Big Bang sucks, how gay they are, etc. You never see me hating on the groups/stuff they like, what right does it give them to hate on me? I was so pissed off about this...I even blocked a friend of mine after he randomly IM'd me, saying how much Big Bang sucks. I don't rub it in their faces. I keep my fangirl self to YGBB forums, the ONLY place it's welcome, unfortunately. I need...I don't know. I need new friends. Badly. Really. Can't they just accept I like what I like? That leads me to another point. My friend hates my addiction for Big Bang. Once again, whoopdeefreakingdoo. I don't even TALK to her about K-Pop anymore. It died, okay? Everything died. I feel so dead right now. I don't know. She apparently likes my "white-washed" self better. She liked the way I was before I got into the "Asian scene". PLEASE. It wasn't even her "fault" in the first place. I was bound to find out about it some way or another. Heck, my other best friend is Korean! She's the one who introduced me to Dong Bang Shin Ki way back when. God. If you don't like me, then obviously, don't befriend me. But don't be my friend, then years later, tell me that you don't like me anymore. 

I'm really pissed off right now.
Hmph.
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